When I was in high school my sister Ruby’s boyfriend was taking a senior level college criminal justice course. He was considerably lazy and had waited until the Sunday before a paper that was 50 percent of his overall grade was due. Instead of writing the paper, he wanted to watch a movie. Since I have ALWAYS loved to write, I of course offered to do it for him. (I am kind of a nerd and voluntarily have written more than one paper for no reason for friends). It was a pretty substantial assignment considering it was for half of the course’s grade. Well, I wrote the paper on that Sunday. He turned it in, got and A and I thought I was a boss. Well a couple of years later when Ruby was taking the same course, the professor was explaining the same assignment, and this time passed out an example paper from a past student. The professor explained that the paper was exactly what he was looking for and students should use it when writing their own. Well, that paper was the very one I wrote in high school.
You can imagine I was ecstatic to learn that not only was a paper I wrote for a senior level college course while I was in high school was used for years as the professors “example,” but when most students spent the semester doing the project, I had done it in a matter of hours the day before it was due.
Well, I tell you this because up until Turner was born, that was one of my greatest accomplishments, one of my proudest moments. Whenever possible I would try to work it into conversations with friends (kind of like I did with this blog because here I am nearly 10 years later still bragging about it). But now, every single day when I look at Turner, he takes the cake as my proudest accomplishment. He is beautiful and happy and perfect. Everything I look at him I just fall in complete love. There is nothing in this world that makes me happier than that little guy.
I call it new mom bliss. You know what I am talking about. When ever coo and every spit up and even every cry is just perfect and adorable and the most precious thing you have ever seen. Kinda the same theory with new couples…. they are just so in love with each other.
I just hope that it never goes away. That it doesn’t wear off. I want everyday to be the best day of my life because of him. I want to always think that even the smallest developments are monumental gains that need to be documented and remembered forever. I want to always look at Turner and regardless of what I have on my plate, I want to feel the way I do now, like nothing else compares to him and life is perfect and pure and just could not get any better.
I want to always hold him and squeeze him and love him. I want to always just laugh when he poops on me while changing him or when he spits up and I accidentally swallow it because I was doing the helicopter with him.
I want to continue to be so proud of him and everything that he means to me that 10 years from now, I will still be telling stories about him too.
I don’t want it to be “new” mom bliss. I want it to just be mom bliss. Because even if I started now and spent every single day drowning Turner in love and appreciation, it will never be enough to thank or repay him for perfection and joy I felt the second he laid in my arms and the euphoria I have felt every second since.