I hate I didn’t get to post yesterday, on top of writing the whole newspaper, I am helping a friend write some stuff while she has been sick and I had a meeting, so I was kind of swamped.
I am beyond exhausted. Andrew has been out of town traveling for work for the last week and a half. On top of working full time and being Turner’s personal assistant, making sure he is where he needs to be with whoever is babysitting him for the day, I am doing it on no sleep.
Turner will be four months on September 30, and he has yet to discover the glorious wonder that is sleep. He sleeps maybe seven hours a day. Starting around 10 p.m. each night, he goes to sleep but wakes up at hour to hour and half intervals all night long. Last night between 12:30 and 3:30 we were up three times. When he gets up it is a dance to get him back to sleep too. I feed him, then sit him up, burp him, rock him and then pray when I lay him back down, he goes back to sleep. So each time he wakes up, it is at least a 30 min process before he goes back to sleep. For Turner’s entire life I have been holding him to go to sleep. I know co-sleeping is a no-no, but its the only thing that will work. So for the last three and a half months Turner and I have been sleeping on the couch co-sleeping. Well, lately I have been trying to still sleep with Turner, but work on sleeping beside him instead of actually holding him. This is the first step in getting him to sleep alone in my opinion.
Well Turner is just not having it. He will kick and turn and whimper until I hold him. Turner and I have stayed with my sister Ruby the last two nights while Andrew has been out of town. Well last night a little before 11 p.m., Ruby looks at me and asks, “Why is he still awake?” Well, that is an excellent question. Warm bottles, rocking, noise machines, him not sleeping all day long, none of it amounts to much at night. He sleeps when he wants, and well, he doesn’t want to often.
I can get him to sleep sometimes after a car ride. That is when he sleeps the longest. And what has been even more awful as of late, he refuses to take a pacifier. Ever since he had the bit of Thrush, he has refused to take one, so when he is fussy or tired, there is just no solution. Last night, he took his paci for the longest he had in about a month, and it was incredible. Helped him sleep through dinner, thank goodness!
He will take cat naps during the day, and maybe he sleeps when other people watch him Monday through Wednesday while I work, but when I am around him, he wants to smile and play and never ever sleep. Due to the sleep deprivation, I think I may be going a bit crazy.
So Ruby, you know, my older sister who says she reads my blog now, kept Turner for the first time yesterday. My mom, who typically watches Turner on Tuesday’s is at the beach this week. So Ruby volunteered, and I am grateful that she did. With that being said, babies are not exactly her cup of tea. Ruby works a lot. As a photographer, even if she doesn’t have a session to photograph, she spends her days editing her fingers off. So watching a baby, who wants nothing more than to be held and talked to constantly, and certainly doesn’t want to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, is not ideal for her.
When I called to check up on her yesterday, she informed me that Turner was just always crying. She would put him in his various toys and he would be ok for a minute, but then would cry. Well, that is true, because I have spoiled him and instead of letting him be more independent, I hold him and play with him and never let him cry about anything for more than 30 seconds.
Needless to say, after Ruby’s first real alone time with Turner, I don’t think we will be volunteering to watch him anymore.