I cannot even begin to wrap my head around the fact that Turner will be one on Friday. In just a few days… how is that even possible? It was just the other day that I found out I was pregnant… it seems like just a few days since I was rushed in for an emergency c-section. And now, before I am even ready for it, I am panicking trying to make sure I have everything in line for his birthday party this weekend.
I just don’t see how it feasible. Where has time gone? I want my baby back! I want my sweet little boy back, not this grown child that has replaced him! Ahh, it is so crazy.
This last weekend Andrew and I took a weekend (what actually amounted to one full day away from Turner). It was the longest I have ever gone without him. But we wanted a little weekend vacay to celebrate each other, and that is exactly what we did. It was great. We got to have grown up dinners and have conversations about each other, and work, and things other than the fact that we were low on diapers and needed to pick up milk before we went home.
It was an incredible weekend. Andrew and I got to fall in love again. We got to find each other and get to know who we have become over the last year. I can assure that the woman I am today is 360 degrees different than before I had Turner. My priorities have changed, my opinions on different views and things have changed. I have changed, and so has Andrew. And lately, we hadn’t had the time to see those changes and understand them, so we were constantly at each other’s throats or mad about something silly. But with this weekend, we got a better understanding of who we have become as parents, and I cannot even begin to say how great that is for our relationship.
So although all weekend long, Andrew and I both felt an immense amount of guilt to be away from Turner, at the same time, it needed to happen. I needed Andrew to see me for me again, and not just the mother of his child. And I am sure he needed the same thing. All weekend long I kept looking at him as if he was completely new. He is an incredible father, and a remarkable man, and although I have said it 100 times before, it still stands true, Turner and I couldn’t be luckier to have Andrew in our lives.
If you haven’t taken the time to look at your husband or your boyfriend, or your wife or your girlfriend as more than the mother/father of your child, you need to do it. I was reminded this weekend that Andrew is so much more than Turner’s dad. He is who I want to spend everyday of the rest of my life with. He is mine. He is my best friend. And I can’t forget those things when I am looking at him across the changing table angry he isn’t handing me the wipes fast enough while I try to wrangle Turner, the baby escape artist.
Because at the end of the day, loving each other and being happy in what our life brings, is one of the best things we can do as parents to Turner.
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