Summer Vacation Series Part II: Waging a war on the bikini

So here is the thing. I know that I may dry well be a prude. I know that this may offend some people. But… it is my opinion, and that is that. 

Last week, a blog post on Huffington Post and other areas of the Internet titled, “Moms, Put on That Swimsuit” was widely circulated on social media. 

I actually didn’t read the article until righter before I started this blog, even though I had already decided on this topic while I was on vacation earlier this month. 

While I 100% agree with the article, and whole-heartedly wish that every woman, mother or not, was comfortable in her own skin to run around and play with her children or just enjoy herself on the beach without the fear of judgement or anything else holding her back… I think there is a tasteful way to do so.  

So yes, mothers please suit up and frolic freely with your little ones, but let’s do so tastefully. 

And I don’t just mean this toward mothers. This blog is really about how inappropriate in general I find bathing suits for all women. 

Who invented the bikini? And what on earth were they thinking? On what planet did someone convince society that it was acceptable to parade around half-naked? What purpose does it serve? What is accomplished by essentially stripping down to our bare necessities for a bathing suit?

I mean, what normally would be reserved for the privacy of our own home, for the intimate moments between our soul mates, is flaunted in front of God and everyone. Image


I haven’t always been such a prude. And my newfound outlook on bathing suits is not due to my new mommy body. While I may not be in the tip-top shape I was pre-pregnancy, I am by no means ashamed of my body. I admit I have a distorted view on my body and think I am far larger and more out of shape than I should be… but in reality, my body size is probably average.  I have little left of my once flabby pregnancy tummy and being a mother has worked wonders on my breast, not to mention the sensual curves and actual hips that have sprung up, giving me the body of a woman. 

So it isn’t about that. Big, little, fat, small, tan, purple, red, whatever, size, color, shape, and whatever else isn’t the issue. Does no one else think bathing suits in general are just so inappropriate? I mean, if I saw a woman walking down the street in her bra and panties, I would certainly turn my head and whisper. Why would anyone want to show off that much skin to complete strangers? Why does being on a beach vs. on a public sidewalk make any difference at all?

All of a sudden a body of water makes it totally acceptable to strip down to next to nothing? I think not! 

More than anything, I just think it is weird. I get people want to get a good tan, but for what? You are never going to be in another situation outside of a bathing suit that makes it acceptable to flaunt that much skin! 

Since having a baby, I have decided to wear a one-piece swimsuit for the first time in my life. Not because I am ashamed of my body, but because I feel so awkward being in next to nothing around my son. I mean, if we were home, I wouldn’t walk around in front of him and as he gets older, him and his friends, in my bra and panties… why would I do it next to water? 

Even before having a baby, I grew up relatively skinny and in shape. I am 5’ 2’’ and before becoming pregnant, only weighed 125 lbs at my heaviest. I have never had a reason to worry about the appearance of my body. But even pre-Turner, I still would wear the bathing-shorts instead of panty bottoms, because I have always found it so weird to wear so little to cover my downstairs. Not to mention on a week-long vacation, keeping that area properly groomed was a nightmare and between the salt, sand, and having to shave every day, ugh, the horror. 

During vacation, I found that even the one-piece is more than I think I should be sharing in public. Because I am quite voluptuous, I felt like I was parading my chest around for the world to see, even though I was considerably covered up. 

I have always had that problem. Even this past vacation despite my most valiant attempt to dress conservative, I was plagued by the constant fear and worry that I was offending other people because my chest was front and center at all times. Not to mention the constant stares and gawks from strangers objectifying my body with their eyes. I didn’t ask for this. 

At one point in time, I made the observation that one of my suits resembled one of the little black dresses I would have worn out in college. How embarrassing. Not only was it once ok for me to dress like that, but even now, as an adult and a mother, I should be more covered up. I didn’t know any of those people. Why on earth would I want to show off more to them than I do nightly in front of Andrew when I dress in baggy shirts and shorts. 

And God knows it is not for comfort. By no means does any form of bathing suit keep sand out of places that even the light doesn’t shine. No to mention a bikini cuts into the crevasse of your body and actually causes physical pain. The straps around my neck hurt worse than an injury sustained in a minor car accident, and having those tiny strings pulled securely enough not to reveal even more of my jobs to the world calls for circulation hindering knots. 

It just makes no sense to me whatsoever. 

But then again, it may just be because motherhood has turned me into one big prude.

, SiteDart Author


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