Turner never sleeps. I know I complain about this constantly and have written 100 blogs about it, but it is a fact. He may take a nap or two, but in general, at night, he does not sleep. Last night I was up with him twice before midnight, and he even went to bed at 10 p.m. I am only losing my mind a little bit, no big deal.
But last night, while I was wrestling with him to go to bed, I had a bit of a discovery. I realized that a sleepy infant, fighting with every ounce of his being to stay awake, is basically the exact same thing as a college freshman at her first fraternity kegger during rush. As Turner was flopping all over the couch going in and out of sleep, I couldn’t help but be reminiscent of my college days and even laughed at the similarities.
1) Ridiculous babble that you cannot quite make out.
Well, this is a stretch since I can never understand Turner, but as he battles sleep, he is basically as articulate as a college freshmen on her third Smirnoff Ice. He lets out his high pitched screams, something he doesn’t do typically. He repeats sounds over and over and just laughs hysterically at nothing. Sound familiar?
2) Complete loss of bodily control.
When Turner is sleeping, he flops and wallers all over the place. He tries his best to stand up and play, but sleep overcomes him and he just falls down and rolls around all over the place. I have seen many a girls at a local party when I was in college exhibit this same behavior. The music gets going, and you are really feeling it, and then you take one sip too many and you go from a functioning adult to a hot mess. So this battle with gravity that an infant faces, is essentially the same as a drunk party-goer.
3) Fading in and out of consciousness.
As Turner vigilantly battles the sleep monster, sometimes, for short spurts of times, he temporarily loses and passes out for a little bit. He crashes completely and just passes out wherever he is at that point of time. But it never fails, in a couple of seconds he pops right back and is ready to go. I cannot even count how many times I have been at a party and some poor girl finds a comfy spot on the couch and before she knows it is out like a light. But then as soon as her favorite song comes on, she jumps up and is ready to go as if nothing every happened.
4) Do anything for another drink.
A lot of parents give their children a bottle and put them to bed. Turner doesn’t really care to take a bottle and then go to sleep, but in his sleepy haze he sluggishly crawls and reaches for one. Last night he rotated between his bottle and his sippy cup of juice. He would start to whine and get extra fussy, then roll himself to one of the two, and a few sips, once again he is ready to go. Not to mention how friendly he gets with the dogs when he is sleepy. Seems like he has never met a stranger… just like a girl at a party. Against all odds, the same stands true at a college party. Although those beers are the exact reason you are in the state you are in, when you start to run out of fuel and should probably call it quits, a little extra chug, and you are right back to being ready to party.
5) Finally hit a wall and pass out wherever you can.
It is rare that Turner doesn’t go to sleep in his crib. We usually get him to battle the sleep monster alone in his crib. But last night, as I was obsessed with the Grammys. I decided to let him battle it out in the living room. After a solid 30 minute fight with him on the couch, and him refusing to give in even a little, I decided to put him on the floor. Not two minutes after he was alone on the floor had he crawled over to his bottle, took one last sip, just for good time sake, he was sprawled out on the floor, passed completely out. Once again, sounds pretty familiar right? Once second you see that young college girl bouncing around slurring the words to her favorite song, then the very next second, she is passed out in the most uncomfortable position across the coffee table.
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